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Great Sage of the Sea
Posts: 915
| Subject: Ants
This morning I was thinking about ants. In particular ferocious red ants. We were "blessed" with these unholy critters in Minnesota. Their homes were mounds of dirt and decaying sticks in our cow pasture real estate. As a small child, they were me and my brother's sworn enemy. It was our calling to bring vengeance, and destruction upon them. It was a holy war to which we were called. With sticks serving as righteous swords we would stir up the mound. When the demon hoard came pouring out of their dark domain we would quickly retreat lest they come up our pants leg. Their sting was not a pleasant experience to behold.
One day my brother had this inspiration. Why didn't we think of this before? Surely this was a revelation from God himself. Lets dump a can of gas on them! We shall surely prevail and bring total destruction upon our enemy. Marching forth into battle with a coffee can of gas and some matches we went. I tied a used snot rag on a stick to serve as our battle flag. Surely the enemy was trembling with fear as we neared. My brother poured the gas around the mound and in it. I struck the match. The ensuing result could be compared to the atomic bomb of Hiroshima. Fire, flame, and heat surrounded us! We fled! Gone were our eyebrows. Singed like a plucked chicken was our hair. To our dismay the fire was spreading in the dry grass to the dried leaves of the woodlot. Our adrenaline was spiked. We ran around with purpose stomping out the flames. In what seemed like eternity, we finally put out the flames. A large burned spot in the pasture advertised to the world what our accomplishments were.
Now, with foreboding, fear, and trembling we shuffled home. Heads bowed we went to see God (our mother). I do not remember her exact words. I'm sure the neighbors a mile away could tell you. I’m also sure Mom had to ask God for forgiveness for unholy language and taking the Lord's name in vain. Then came those dreaded words " you wait till your father gets home". When he did, he applied instruction to our seat of learning. To me it seemed unnecessary, we had already learned that gas is a destructive weapon. And, that's my story about ants. |
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1735
Location: SoCal | Subject: RE: Ants
I think that's part of growing up. My cousin and I did the same thing on a smaller scale, and with less catastrophic results in the big city. We also added water balloons as part of our weaponry against them critters. |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3905
Location: Kansas City Missouri | Subject: RE: Ants
Chiggers. 1975 was my first contact with those hellmites. Learned that asking locals anything was like everywhere else, correct answers were sparse. My blood/meat type was highly in demand. How did we survive before the interweb?
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/P1537NCaTRw
Edited by GaryKC 2026-08-26 3:20 PM
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1735
Location: SoCal | Subject: RE: Ants
Chiggers got me too in the mid 60's. My best friend and his family moved back to Arkansas from SoCal. They invited me an 18 year old to spend two weeks in Pine Bluff with them.
First taking the bus was an experience cross country. Then seeing road side food places with signs for white people only, and side door signs for colored people - being Hispanic I was stymied so I went to the colored ordering spot as the lines were usually far shorter, and where I got really strange looks.
Finally after spending the hot summer day of exploring the bus station pin ball machine in Pine Bluff we'd lay on the grass at their home - WRONG MOVE!!. Chiggers ate me alive until I discovered sulfur pills made me slightly less edible. |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3905
Location: Kansas City Missouri | Subject: RE: Ants
Hadn't thought of Sulfur Pills since my early teenage years. A somewhat reliable source swore they would ward off all occurrences of hairy palms syndrome. From ants to hairy palms. Dex would be proud. |
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Ants
