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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: Not Sub Related...Fishing related
Let me begin by saying I know absolutely nothing about fishing...no, let's make that "less than nothing" if that's possible. I know it involves fish, a fishing stick and some kind of a hook like a sanitary napkin safety pin....get beyond that and I'm lost. I have a shipmate...we never actually served on the same boat but we went to SubSchool together and have been blood brothers ever since...Bill served on the Cubera in SubRon Six when I was riding Requin...He stayed in when I got out in 65...He went on to SubRon Four in the Holy City of Charleston and rode the Chivo....and he ended up as a Chief Quartermaster on the L. Mendel Rivers...(His rate has since been replaced by illegal Mexican dwarfs (dwarves?) with TEXACO roadmaps, and a cellphone programmed to reach the nearest Triple A office.) The guy's name is Bill Ehney. Ehney's most redeeming feature is his lovely wife Pat....Pat makes the best chicken and gravy this side of Jon Krupp....At one point I actually considered OJ'ing Bill, cloroforming Pat and hauling her off to the nearest Justice of the Peace or hypnotising her and chaining her to my stove....reconsidered on finding Bill owns a handgun with a barrel made out of a 16 inch gun he cumshawed off the MISSOURI. When my Bride left, Bill and the lovely Pat invited me to their home in South Carolina and Bill came and got me. That's a shipmate. Bill retired recently and every time I call him, he's just returned from fishing...The SOB fishes all the time...I'll call and say "Whatcha doing?" "Wuz out fishin'...caught a thirty five pound, bugeyed Wompus...skinned him and cut four, three foot filets off the rascal...pan fried them in some raccoon grease with a couple of cat livers and wild onions...and Pat and I just finished dinner. Man I pity guys who don't fish." I'm damn tired of listening to that...Soooo, I'm going to find out how to fish...can't be hard if Quartermasters do it. Going to get me a Mr. Rogers level HOW TO CATCH FISH dvd....One of those Wal-Mart el cheapo fishing rigs where you get a greenhorn fishing stick, with an attachable string winder...one of those "you just caught a fish" disapearing cork things and a box of Eagle Claw "can't git loose" hooks....a wide brim straw hat, like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz was sporting. I'm going to subscribe to some fishing magazine like CHICKS DIG FISHERMEN....(I'm not like Ehney, I'm not going to roll up copies of FIHERMAN'S GAZETTE when the barber is not looking and stuff them down the back of my pants. Nobody ever trusted a Quartermaster.). Yessir, I'm going to get someone to teach me how to fish,....then I'm going down there to Lake DooDad, South Carolina and catch a damn fifty pound Wompus and chain saw a hundred foot flank steak, the thickness of a Goodyear snow tire out of that sonuvabitch and pan fry it in five cups of crank case grease and toss in a galvanized bucket load of diced cactus and invite Bill and Pat down to the Local Motel 6 , for Wompus and Iron City beer. The soon to be...Fisherman DEX |
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1405
Location: Houston, TX (Best state in the US) | Subject: RE: Not Sub Related...Fishing related
If you didn't grow up fishin', you ain't never gonna learn.....but have fun anyway...gives you a great excuse to get out of the house, on the water, and soak up all the great sights and smells Mother Nature bestowed upon us, not to mention the comeraderie and cold beer.....Enjoy yourself...but don't ever count on catching much....'cept mosquito bites, sunburn, and a bunch of fishing stories that might even challenge some of the horse manure you so eloquently spread! And make sure that there is a Waffle House on the route back!!!!!!!!!!!
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: Not Sub Related...Fishing related
Stoops, Hey, it was either golf, hunting or fishing....Fishing seemed to be (A) the cheapest and (B) the one you could still do, half in the bag. There are very few late in life activities that you can take up and master....I recognize that, but some of my closest friends (with Bill Ehney heading the list) seem to get a lot of simple satisfaction out of fishing...and seem to enjoy the natural elements, the beauty of their "outdoor" surroundings and a so far un-understood joy of fishing. As I say, I'm a self confessed Seaman Recruit in the fishing world. I may not like it...who knows?...but I sit in the barber shop and listen to wide mouth bass stories and hear the unabridged straught dope on lakes, streams, Chesapeake Bay estuaries and assorted secret fishing holes and hot spots. Everyone seems to take great delight in fishing and right now I desperately need such an activity in my life...an activity to look forward to, something that allows you to share a mutual joy with another human being that hasn't lost the ability to get excited and the fun of recapturing elements of childhood. I need a fishing buddy that will take me and teach me enough about fishing to let me participate without embarrassing the two of us. I need other people....I've had enough lonliness since Solveig left and I'm working like hell to return life's sunshine. Everyone keeps telling me to "get a dog"...It's not that I have anything against dogs, but I prefer that other people own them so I can pet them and scratch them under their chins without having to scoop-poop or pay large amounts of wampum to board them when we travel. Besides the only things I'm going to be reasponsible for feeding, from here to the pine peacoat, are going to come with bras and panties. Listening to Ehney and hearing the excitement and determination in his voice, got me to thinking and attempting to visualize how it would be to have a partner to go fishing with. Stoops, Is there a minimum acceptable proficiency level an old coot could reach that would permit acceptance by real fishermen?....I mean I know that they'll never have an oil painting of me in the lobby of the BASS PRO SHOP ot feature me in an edition of that cable fishing show where the guy who narrates the shows wears a University of Tennessee ballcap. I just want an excuse to have fun-in-the-sun and enjoy another fellow human beings' company.....and maybe haul in a two hundred fifty pound Marlin using dental floss and a custom bent paperclip. Thanks for the response...DEX |
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1405
Location: Houston, TX (Best state in the US) | Subject: RE: Not Sub Related...Fishing related
hell, Dex, all you gotta know is that you are in a group of folks that can easily challenge you in manure spreading....they just do it in another format......They can't lie any better than a damn DBFer....but they do have the confidence that might have a tendency to intimidate such an accomplished manure spreader such as yourself, though all my money is on you.
The important thing is to enjoy yourself....just get out and spread some of your traditional BS as if you were talking to the COB....I can't believe you couldn't come up with some sort of Tennessee hocus pocus about spitting on the bait or having Doc Beeghly spritz his magic VD meds on your lures...... I can't compete with your imagination......but let your instincts flow.....you will have fun...................I gotta a life size picture in my mind of you sitting in a bass boat with a bunch of guys in camo Tshirts....and as one of them hauls in a 4$ largemouth, you telling them, "Hell, that's friggin' bait....why when Adrian Stuke and I went fishing in the bilges, we'd throw that poor summabitch back and tell it to come back when it was ready to be eaten...." or some such Armstrongian crap......
Don't be intimidated....go for the jugular...fishermen are worse liars than politicians....
And don't let anyone tell you that you have to "keep the bait warm in your mouf"
Enjoy..................
Edited by Stoops 2007-08-05 9:29 PM
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3667
Location: Kansas City Missouri | Subject: RE: Not Sub Related...Fishing related
Don't know about 4$ largemouths, maybe a fishing buddy could help.
 (nice pair.jpg)
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 nice pair.jpg (25KB - 1045 downloads)
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: Not Sub Related...Fishing related
Just looked at GaryKC's fishing buddy..."I'm coming Elisabeth...This is the BIG one."...Somebody go find the cables and jumpstart my heart....WOW...Heading down to WAL-MART to get me a Stoops autograph model fishing stick and string winder...some umbrella action hooks...and some rubber worms. Hey, you think your fishing buddy would like to go fishing this afternoon or just check in to the DAYS INN and spend the afternoon? I'll buy her a supersized BIG MAC meal and scratch her back. DEX |
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Senior Crew
Posts: 188
Location: Manassas, VA | Subject: RE: Not Sub Related...Fishing related
This one has been around, but mention fishing and it comes to mind:
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:
First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend.
I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would build her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to fish. When they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word, they asked him.
"You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"
Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a slap
on the ass and said:
"Fishing or Sex?" and she said: .................. "Wear sun-block."
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 6180
Location: Summerville, SC | Subject: RE: Not Sub Related...Fishing related
Joe, as they say here in Charleston, "I know you right". That ole slap on the ass works everytime, especially on Saturday morning. |
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Great Sage of the Sea
Posts: 561
| Subject: RE: Not Sub Related...Fishing related
Dex,
As you are new to the fishing game and looking for a quality rod and reel to start out with might I suggest the out fits I got for m;y grand kids. Wally World has a couple that might catch your eye. There is the Snoopy Crappie rig or the Mickey Mouse pan fish special rig. Both come with all the attachments you will need such as hooks, line, bobber, sinkers, pole, and reel.
My grand kids can out fish me with those rigs.
Of course if you don't feel experineced enough to spend the big bucks yet, Playskool has a beginners out fit that can be used one handed freeing up the other hand for a can of suds.
T.Spoon, DBF |
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1454
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If you really want to go cheap use the same rigs as the natives in St Croix have. They wrap monofilament line around a beer or soda can and tie an artificial lure at the end. Afew spins with the lure and let the sucker go. Of course you need enough eye hand coordination to do it right. Any sailor who tossed a heaving line is ahead of the game from the start. Same principle only use you thumb to control how much line comes off. I've seen sub sailors 3/4 in the bag make it work. Only saw one accident when one of the crew caught the island Governor in the pants and semi buried the hook in his leg. The Doc fixed him right nice and no hard feelings. |
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Senior Crew
Posts: 214
Location: Ladson SC | Subject: RE: Not Sub Related...Fishing related
Here are some things that Dex needs to know about fishing.
Hmmm...Fishing or Sex....
#19 - No matter how much whiskey you've had, you can still Fish.
#18 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines.
#17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish
with you once in a while.
#16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against Fishing.
#15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you
Fishing, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the
Internet if you become famous.
#14 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you
fished with long ago.
#13 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.
#12 - When you see a really good Fishing person, you don't have
to feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.
#11 - If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she
won't object if you Fish with someone else.
#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you
Fish by yourself.
#9 - When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to
wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighbor-
hood to buy Fishing stuff.
#7 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office,
tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you
without getting sued for Fishing harassment.
#6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.
#5 - If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don't have
to subscribe to the Playboy channel.
#4 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the
rest of your life.
#3 - Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner
loses interest in it.
#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation
primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.
#1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just
Fished last week! Is Fishing all you ever think about?
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Not Sub Related...Fishing related
