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 Things they didn't teach me in HM "A" SchoolModerators: Jump to page : 1 Now viewing page 1 [25 messages per page] | |
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Doc Gardner |
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Master and Commander Posts: 2254 Location: Foothills of the Ozarks | Subject: Things they didn't teach me in HM "A" School Things they didn’t teach me in HM School or SubMedTech: 1. When an Orthopedic surgeon says “this may hurt a bit”: it’s going to hurt a lot. 2. When the Anesthesiologist says he’s got a little device to take care of the pain. You’re going to end up with a box the size of a large cereal box hanging off your waist and enough wire to wire an aircraft carrier and it all goes through a hole in your leg to who knows where in your body. Every 30 seconds it makes a “whirring” noise that guarantees I will not get on an airplane while it is still attached. But, the damn thing works and the pain in my leg is tolerable 3. They now send cute young girls into the “Head” with you to watch you pee. I have no idea why. Maybe they think I’m so old I forgot how to do it or would keel over and pee on the floor. When she asked me if I needed assistance I was tempted to request that she “hold” it for me but then thought better of that. 4. Statistically, men are more likely to come into the Emergency Room with broken legs after walking the dog at O Dark Ugly. This is good information to know for next winter. I think I’ll ask my wife to take the dog out in the morning because women don’t fall down and hurt themselves. Anybody want to guess how successful that ploy will be? I'm home, repaired, the fire watches have been relieved and are down at the "slop chute" drinking beer. All the magnets off my refrigerator are stuck to my ankle, the dog barks at me while I'm using the crutches. I guess she thinks they look too much like the vacuum cleaner. The welders did a good job and only burned down the storage shed. The doctors and nurses learned some new terminlogy that I doubt will get entered into their policies and procedures manual and my wife now refers to me as "Buster" when I make the simplest request. Go figure? I wonder how long I can milk this light duty chit?  | ||
| Park Dallis |
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Old Salt Posts: 419 Location: Anchorage, Alaska | |||
| Doc Gardner |
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Master and Commander Posts: 2254 Location: Foothills of the Ozarks | Subject: RE: Things they didn't teach me in HM "A" School Thanks Park The box is strapped to my hip. I asked my wife to drive me down to the airport to see what kind of mischief I could cause but she refused. That's when she started calling me "Buster" as in "not a chance Buster; those bubbleheads might go along with that but not me!". Now I have to muster a working party and test out my chaos theory in the supermarket. I wonder if my Escolar Base shipmates are up for a little fun. Got to keep laughing or I might start thinking my injury is serious or important to anyone. Just a little inconvenience for the next six weeks and the opportunity to park my car in the handicapped spaces when they let me drive again.  Edited by Doc Gardner 2008-03-20 4:19 AM | ||
| Jim M. |
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Great Sage of the Sea Posts: 877 | |||
| Doc Gardner |
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Master and Commander Posts: 2254 Location: Foothills of the Ozarks | |||
| docbeeghly |
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| Subject: RE: Things they didn't teach me in HM "A" School Hey Doc, you can attest that Dave Stoops is a quick learner, do you think you could harness some of his hot air and teach him to play the pipes in about 6 weeks just in case you aint able to compete on the 24 of May??? | |||
| Jim M. |
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Great Sage of the Sea Posts: 877 | |||
| RCK |
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| Subject: RE: Things they didn't teach me in HM "A" School Glad to hear the surgery is over, your home and as onery as ever  . By the way, does that thing your totin around open the garage door??? | |||
| Don Gentry |
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Admin Posts: 2297 Location: Renton, WA | |||
| Blue from West Oz |
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Master and Commander Posts: 2357 | Subject: All I can say Doc, is.... ....if the lovely Pat is calling you 'Buster' then it is for a good reason and you better stop witht he crap and start behaving becasue I know Pat is a lovely woman, way too good for you so just remember that otherwise you will be out on your ear! Now I can see why she made a few nasty comments about you when I took a quick visit up to Michigan during my last holiday! well, I suppose I should wish you well, me being as nice as Pat says I am................."why can't he be like you?" he he he.... Blue *_*...safely about 17,500 klick's away! Edited by Blue from West Oz 2008-03-21 2:46 AM | ||
| Doc Gardner |
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Master and Commander Posts: 2254 Location: Foothills of the Ozarks | Subject: RE: Things they didn't teach me in HM "A" School Don Gentry - 2008-03-20 6:51 PM Good to hear you fussin' and cussin' again! Have you completed a shipalt on that box to ramp up the meds to the "sailor level?" I just got back from the hospital where they refilled my "pain pump" issued me a genuine good for use at the local Waffle House and Christian Science Reading Room Handicapped Parking Pass and a prescription for a Scooter so I can get around the neighborhood harassing little children, old people and the snowplow guy who still patrols the neighborhood and is the original cause of my problem. This weekend I'm taking the pump over to Lefty's Beergarden and "pain pump modification emporium" to boost the power up to 4,500 psi and see if it kills the pain before I even know I have it. Then I'm going over to my local Wal-Mart armed with my freshly minted AARP membership card and starting a mini riot by checking all labels for "Made in the U.S.A." Send any bail money contributions in care of my Scottie here in Michigan. My wife has denied having any knowledge of me and goes around the house muttering something that sounds like "#$%&^@ MORON! | ||
| Ralph Luther |
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