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 You May Be A Holland Clubber if.......Moderators: Jump to page : 1 Now viewing page 1 [25 messages per page] | |
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dex armstrong |
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COMSUBBBS Posts: 3202 Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: You May Be A Holland Clubber if....... You may be a member of the Holland Club if you remember soft dungarees and frayed raghats....If you ever attached a set of whites to a suspended horizontal line with any device known as a "clothes stop"....If you ever stowed your entire earthly personal clothing and stuff inventory in something called a sidelocker that was smaller than your Aunt Tilley's bread box....If you ever watched a cinematic presentation along with fifteen smelly off-watch bastards projected on a screen the size of an open Saturday Evening Post....If you ever rode a submersible contraption where the Below Decks Watch blew a large portion of the contents of #2 Sanitary up the coffee urn drain and infused it with the Maxell House....You may be a member of the Holland Club if you ever told a tender MAA that you were hauling a mailbag full of mail held aboard the tender while you had been at sea....when in actuality the damn thing had three reams of typing paper, three staple removers, two staplers, six wooden rulers, a Congressional Directory, ten pounds of assorted ACCO fasteners, paper clips, boxes of no-name contract staples, 27 ballpoints, twenty Ticonderoga No 2 pencils, a never-been-used electric pencil sharpener, an official photo of Arliegh Burke and an IBM electric typwriter waiting for pick-up in the repair shop. If you ever peed on the tanktops from the side of the conning tower fairwater that could not be seen from the tender quarterdeck, during a topside mid-watch. If you ever cross polinated with a barmaid between Bells and the railroad tracks.....If you ever returned to Pier 22 drunker than a hoot-owl, leap frogging fire hydrants and parking meters down Hampton Blvd....You may be in the Holland Club if you remember being summarily tossed over the side into a seething cauldron of percolating liquified doo-doo resulting from the morning sanitary tank blow thirty minutes prior...then hauled back aboard and standing very gahdam proud while the skipper pinned your newly acquired twin fish on you. You definitely are a Holland Clubber if you ever owned a set of thirteen button Seafarer doeskin blues with sharks sewn in the cuffs that could be seen when you rolled them back to impress ditsy lunch pail sweeties, in seedy establishments where a pitcher of Blue Ribbon on-tap kidney flush was sold. If you ever owned a greasy snake neckerchief and got away standing inspection topside wearing the sonuvabitch. You're probably Holland Club if you can remember running surfaced and lying in your bunk reading about some sailor marooned on a South Pacific island inhabited by sex starved nymphos...and scratching your athletes foot split toed on a bunk chain....You are also probably Holland Club if you ever came running down the pier after the sailing list had been passed to the pier and jumping to the tanktops, grabbing the limber holes and crawling aboard just as somebody on the Bridge yelled "Take in Number Four"....You're most likely in the Holland Club if you can remember when every submarine gin mill from Halifax to Terra del Fuego had Johnny Cash singing I'll Walk the Line, The Tijuana Brass belting out the Lonely Bull, Those gahdam Singing Nuns....and Patti Page singing about crossing over bridges, doggies in windows, Old Cape Cod, and telling you she went to your wedding....Definitely Holland Club if you pissed down the floor drain in the men's room at Seven Brothers, Bells, Looters Terrace, Lovey's Krazy Kat or the Pirates Shack. If you carried sea stores smokes tucked in your left sock...If you ever rigged a doubler plate or crawled in the superstructure with freezing sloshing water swooshing back and forth to reverse the specticle flanges known as "Dutchmen", in the fuel lines when the tank was used up and the Old Man wanted them rigged as ballast tanks to be blown. You remember the gentle slap of signal light shutters...sunrises and sunsets....mid rats vulcanized cheese sandwiches....cutting away the green fur on extremely mature baloney and eating it. You might very well be a Holland Clubber if you remember two-bit drafts and dime shoe shines....When guys wearing Submarine Combat Patrol pins shot pool with you and shared in rounds bought. You remember when COB's sat on the right hand of God and were given the power to end an E-3's earthly existence for simply looking cross-eyed or allowing his shirttail to hang out when haulig off to pick up guard mail in the Squadron Office. You're most assuredly Holland Club if you ever took a female that looked like Attila the Hun's mother to the Submarine Birthday Ball. Think of those things unique to old smokeboat sailors and jump in....Remember when old diesel boat sailors knew without a doubt that Rickover was actually Satan in dress canvas? DEX | ||
| Gil Shaddock |
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| Great Sage of the Sea Posts: 557 | Subject: RE: You May Be A Holland Clubber if....... Hey Dex, don't forget that the "Nukes" that "quakified" on the Nautilus, are now eligible for tbhe HC. What do they know about rigging a fuel tank for ballast? | ||
| dex armstrong |
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COMSUBBBS Posts: 3202 Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: You May Be A Holland Clubber if....... I'm a smokeboat sailor...was too stupid to and had absolutely no desire to be nookler...but Gil, as I understand it. The nookler equivalent of reversing Dutchman plates was having a disposable E-8 get into a wetsuit, mask and tanks and when the boat came up to 10,000 feet he would grab a hundred pound bag of enriched moonbeams and energy enhanced (10% Ethanol loaded) pixiedust...swim out the escape trunk, swim back to the Magical Stardust Hopper....kick the lid open and fill the sonuvabitch to the "no crap beyond this point" line and swim back...say,"open the doh' Richard and let me in" Whereupon the COME BACK INSIDE alarm would go off and a large seahorse operated ramp would extend and the E-8 would re-enter the boat though the officers pantry GDU. Once he completed turning in his swim gear...had four bottles of medicinal brandy....and took a pee he would go to the wardroom where he would be given the "good Job",the "atta boy, first class"," whoop-de-doo" and "way-to-GO" ribbons and a big smoochie kiss from the COB....Of course, I may have gotten some of that wrong or out of sequence. DEX | ||
| dex armstrong |
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COMSUBBBS Posts: 3202 Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: You May Be A Holland Clubber if....... Oh yes...You may be a Member of the Holland Club Member, if you ever drank 150 proof rum and spent the better part of a tropical night trying to actually jump over the moon...If you ever ate pan fried iguana and/or consumed barbequed monkey strips purchased from a street vendor in Panama. You might be one if you ever climbed a palm tree and wrecked a set of undressed whites...to get a coconut for a lad who promised to bring his Mother home a stupid coconut. You may be a Holland Clubber if they included a flathat in your original issue. Hey, if you guys don't melt me like the witch in the Wizard of OZ...I'll keep doing this crap. DEX | ||
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