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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2561
Location: Rapid City, SD | Subject: Prayers for another Doris, please
My father had four children. I word it this way because my mother had been married before and had three children before my parents met.
My father's childen included first born sister Inez in 1921; Elmer in 1924; me in 1930 and our "baby sister" Doris, born in 1933.
Doris married a real jerk. As a result, when she discovered that he had molested their small daughter, instead of killing him (my option), she became mentally ill. She was about 35 at the time. She has dealt with mental illness for more than half her life, but has had several long periods of remission, when she could more-or-less manage her life. In a "manic" phase she did divorce her husband after thirty years of marriage.
When her daughter moved to a different state about 10 years ago, my sister lost her only close support system, and quit taking her medications. A long story, but suffice it to say, that she ended up as a nursing home resident; where she remains today.
I just received an e-mail from her son, saying that she seems to be in a rapid physical decline now: deciding that she's not going to eat; falling out of bed; generally confused. She is now, my nephew tells me, a "total care" resident. Next step - what?
My instinct is to get on an airplane, fly to Texas and bring her back to South Dakota. My own tenuous physical health prevents me from doing this. I could not care for her physically or emotionally.
Doris and I are the last survivors in our family. All three half-siblings are gone, as are Inez & Elmer in our immediate family. Because of the close proximity of our ages, plus the fact that we were the last two to leave home, she and I were very close growing up. The young child Doris, and the teen-aged Doris were happy, vibrant, get-out-of-my-face girls. I cannot even imagine how she must look or act today.
I went to a lecture once, where the speaker was the director of South Dakota's state hospital for the mentally ill. One thing he said will always stick in my memory. "There is not a person living, given the right set of circumstances, that cannot become mentally ill." That's all of us, guys.
Please keep Doris and me, as the sister who loves her, in your thoughts and prayers. I'm certain that we're coming to the end of her unhappy life.
Cora
Edited by Corabelle 2008-08-22 1:25 PM
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2540
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY | Subject: RE: Prayers for another Doris, please
Cora,
Please know that you are both in our thoughts and prayers.
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 6180
Location: Summerville, SC | Subject: RE: Prayers for another Doris, please
Prayers are there for both of you, Cora. The mind is a very fragile thing. It's difficult to know just how fragile. We all should be very thankful for having what we do have. |
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1405
Location: Houston, TX (Best state in the US) | Subject: RE: Prayers for another Doris, please
She will be on my prayer list too, Cora. What part of Texas does she call home?
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2561
Location: Rapid City, SD | Subject: RE: Prayers for another Doris, please
She lived in Lubbock for approcimately 20 years. Following her divorce, she moved there to be close to her daughter. Apparently this daughter found that her mother was too dependant on her for her moral support system, and moved to Seattle, Washington, leaving Doris emotionally (and physically) stranded.
Doris' son lives in Austin, and has only been able to schedule three visits to his mother in the almost ten years that she has been a nursing home resident. Her daughter has not been back at all.
My sister now lives in the little town of Dimmitt, which I undestand is not too far from Lubbock; I believe it's west and kinda in between Lubock and Amarillo, but not on the main highway between these towns.
Exactly ten years ago, I stayed with Doris for six or eight weeks, when she began her chemotherapy for metastatic breast cancer. I left at that time, because my only granddaughter was getting married and I wanted to be back in South Dakota for the wedding. I haven't seen Doris since.
After I left Texas, my sister underwent high dose chemo after stem cell harvesting. I know that she was 65 years old, because this treatment is so devastating that oncologists don't do it on anyone older than 65, because the treatment itself often results in death. I guess we could call her a cancer survivor.
I'm "blathering," as Elmer's wife used to say. It's because I cannot get this sweet, innocent lady out of my mind today. My sister, not my sister-inlaw.
Cora |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: Prayers for another Doris, please
Cora, For once in my life, I am at a complete loss trying to find an expression to encapulate the emotion triggered by your post about your sister. I read your post right before bedtime last night....I couldn't sleep...What a series of unimaginable tragic events. My heart goes out to you. Bless you both...nobody deserves the level of unexpected and continuos pain, you two have been forced to endure. As you already realive, there is no better group of men and women to face the unknown and unexpected circumstances life throws at you, than the folks of the Submarine Community. You are a proven sister in the Brotherhood. Your obvious inner strength is a proven gift to you and your Sister and days ahead will be easier to navigate with the gentle hand of the United States Silent Service on your shoulder. DEX |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 6180
Location: Summerville, SC | Subject: RE: Prayers for another Doris, please
Cora, From what I can gather from your posts, it seems it has been quite a while since you last visited with your sister. Do you think a visit with her would be a help or hinderance to her? I ask this because it seems that everyone of importance to her has left her there alone.
Please feel free to email me if you want to answer off the board, however, I'm certain the "family" here, and we are truly a family, would like to help you in anyway.
Edited by Ralph Luther 2008-08-23 10:40 AM
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Prayers for another Doris, please
