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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
Andy, First of all, Thanks for your absolutely terriffic e-mail. I want to talk to you on the phone and bring you up to date on what is going on in my life. I apologize about no longer posting original stuff here, but in your absence, I became sort of a lightning rod and had posts that I worked a long time on, deleted because they evoked unacceptable reaction. Posting here became unfun and I had to find another "laughing place" that was more friendly to my off the wall humor. I miss the swinging from limb-to-limb with old smokeboat riders...that was a gift. But to move on...Buck's dead and Ginny has remarried. Pete's doing great...his business is not only surviving this economic downturn, but growing. I have no idea what happened to Mike, only that he and Sally got divorced and just faded away...fell off the radar. Doris is finishing chemo prior to having a radical mastectomy of her right breast later this month. She's lost all of her hair, 30 pounds and is very despondent over what she considers pending disfigurement....It was great to hear from you and how you missed my posting. After I wore out my welcome here, I had to find a place that accepted my nonsense and a fraternity brother, who used to lurk here, set me up a board open only to my fraternity brothers (ATO) from Carolina. It's not the kind of fun we used to have in the old days on Rontini and Goats Board, but close. A lot of my old friends and shipmates still post here, but have toned down their barking at the moon and pissing against the tide. I did mend my fences with Corabelle and when I left, I had a reg seabag. My phone is (703) 971-3092. "Monkey Fist". I would love to hear from you, you unrepentant rascal...Oh Yes, the Skipper and Ruth are both dead...and you know that I lost my little blue eyed Norwegian. Proud to have served at sea with you, DEX |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2561
Location: Rapid City, SD | Subject: Dex --- About your Doris.....
Can't remember how old you said she was. BUT - in spite of what all the guys on the board think (think?), unless she plans on nursing a baby, she really doesn't need her breast. This is what they're made for, after all. I've always wondered why men are so infatuated with this particular appendage. it's just tissue and fat after all.
In fact, after a certain age (end of child-bearing years), breasts are something to worry about getting cancer in....so I vote that after about age forty-five, all women should have radical bilateral mastectomies. No more worry about that particular cancer.
Have I done this myself? W-e-l-l, I'm thinking about it. Right after I have my foot surgery.
Going silent and 'way deep.
Cora
Edited by Corabelle 2008-10-10 11:55 AM
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
Corabelle, I have known this dear lady for 40 years. During the entire time, I have never known her to have a love interest of any kind...not a boyfriend...not even a date. However, she is VERY concerned with her personal appearance. She is extremely proud of being taken to be twenty years younger than she actually is, and Yes, she had always been an attractive lady. If she has any flaw, it would be her vanity....She lives for comments on her attractiveness. She is one of the kindest, sweetest and selfless creations God turned out on His best days. There are many misconceptions that the people who have little or no understanding of medicine have. I'm not stupid or uneducated, but when our family doctor recommended that I have a vasectomy rather than subjecting my bride to having her tubes tied, I worried about becoming a eunoch, getting a vocal range that would qualify me to sing in the Vienna Boys Chior....or have me picking up a sudden unexpected desire to visit gay bars and wink at guys. Sure all that is BS, but it is a false impression a lot of guys have...most if they would admit it. I didn't want to go into have the surgery as a red blooded American lad...and come out like Richard Simmons. So, I understand Doris's concerns. One of my responsibilities since I assumed the job of her caretaker and Father Confessor, is to discount her fears and apprehensions...to assure her that her beauty will be uneffected and reaffirm her desirability. I have ordered catalogs on the latest in falsies, breast forms and prosthesis devices. As for her breasts being used for their Creators intended purpose...that would take a star in the East...three wisemen coming down I-95 riding camels....and a manger reservation....The removal of nipple cobwebs....and the vacumming of six inches of bust dust. No sir, those days are so far behind Doris, that she can't still see them in life's rear view mirror. I love her dearly, in a brother-sister way and I'm the closest thing she has to family...It has fallen to me, to be the only one willing to hold her hand during this difficult time and to be the one to offer reassurance that she isn't going to leave the recovery room looking like a repulsive troll. Corabelle, what we're dealing with are unfounded fears, irrational apprehensions and non-existent boogaboos she has built in her mind....But, the nice thing is your caring...THANKS DEX |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
Now, for Corabelle's wondering why guys have breast fixations. They are one of God's great gifts....and a girl's wonderful gift on a cold winter's night. It's a lot better to snuggle up against a cozy warm breast, than a croaker sack full of sawdust or a cocker spaniel. They are a helluvalot more fun than minature golf, bowling or firehouse bingo....They evoke visions of coming attractions and the feature presentation....and, unless I have spent a lifetime laboring under a gross misapprehension, females desire their gentle manipulation...So, guys don't seem to have an exclusive franchise in the world of breast appreciation....Also, for guys on retired fixed incomes, they represent a great way to enjoy a post Saturday night bath evening without having to spend a lot of money going out. I'm sure given time, I could find a million or two other reasons that trigger "visions of suger plums that dance in our heads"....Fantasy visions of them can kickstart wonderful memories resulting in triggering drop off to sleep dreams when you are lonely, alone and fighting the demons of darkness found in solitary living. DEX |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3673
Location: Kansas City Missouri | Subject: RE: For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
He's baaaaack!!! Great, now I have a place to post this.
 (Dexlostad.JPG)
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 Dexlostad.JPG (77KB - 632 downloads)
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Old Salt
Posts: 402
| Subject: RE: For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
Dex, You are doing a fantastic thing for your friend Doris. She sounds like a wonderful woman. The operation will be rough but the medical field has made great progress in the procedures. Doris will need a lot of re-assurance concerning her looks and you may need to incorperate some of your friends to help because she may think you are just telling her what she wants to hear. She will get through it, with your help. Again you are doing a wonderful job being her friend.
It's good to hear you found a good site to express your humor but I know you are missed here as well. It's sad that you feel the way you do concerning the post that was removed but no harm was inteded.
CORABELL, I once heard Julia Childs comment on a talk show after having a double masectimy. She believed as you and stated "The darn things just get in the way". I hope you are doing ok. Your sister is still in my prayers as is Dex's friend Doris.
Hey Guys Take Care
Steve |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2561
Location: Rapid City, SD | Subject: I'm getting silly now...
...but I know you've all heard the expression, "God doesn't make any mistakes." Well, if that's the case, why do men have nipples?
One time my husband was walking around shirtless and carrying one of our babies. The baby turned his head and latched on. I thought it was funny-er 'n hell. Needless to say, my husband didn't. (No, he didn't have big breasts.)
True story, not a 'no s*****r.'
Cora |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
The tough part of my work with Doris, is that she has the same chemo oncologist that worked with my little blue-eyed, blonde Norwegian...When I go there the wonderful nurses give me big hugs and I get the warmth of human contact...but the medicinal smells, the treatment rooms, the desk personnel...the memories of sitting in the same chairs in the waiting room bring back visions and mental images that make me bleed in my socks....The mortal dust of the girl I loved so much is still there...the memories of her stretched out in those reclining chairs with tubes in her chest...Doris has her chemo port in the exact same place as Solveig did and there is a Band-Aid in the same location above her right bra cup....Those sights trigger visual images that take me back to the days my little Darling was slowly slipping away and make it rough to get off to sleep when I return to this silent empty house. I'm still checking my snap traps, trying to find that lonely old gal who needs a play pal, to drink coffee with, watch TV with and get tucked in by.....I'm seriously thinking about OJ'ing one of you guys and kidnapping your widow. To those of you who have shown kindness to Doris, thanks...I'm deeply grateful. I'm the only family she's got. Thanks again. DEX |
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1814
Location: Boydton, Virginia | Subject: RE: For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
Dex, I'm certain God has a special place for those among us who give care and understanding for those in desperate need. Your reward is satisfaction that you have done the right thing and helped someone endure the unendurable.
bravo Zulu, Shipmate!
Steamboat sends |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 6180
Location: Summerville, SC | Subject: RE: For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
Dex, I can just stand here and applaud for you with these folks. They have said it best. Good to see you here.  |
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Great Sage of the Sea
Posts: 602
Location: Visalia, Ca. | Subject: RE: For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
dex armstrong - 2008-10-10 8:37 AM
Doris is finishing chemo prior to having a radical mastectomy of her right breast later this month. She's lost all of her hair, 30 pounds and is very despondent over what she considers pending disfigurement...
About a year ago, the Lady who managed our FRA Club had a double mast due to a couple of pre-cancerous lumps in her breast, and a family history of breast and ovarian cancer.
She was not particularly well-endowed, and so, as part of the reconstruction, she got the enhancements she had long wanted.
It is truly amazing what a good reconstructive surgeon can do, even for someone who, as you put it, can no longer see their child-bearing years in the rear-view mirror of life.
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
Don, As I understand it, Doris is a person of very modest means. Her entire income is derived from a GS-9 Federal retirement, a Federally adjusted Social Security payment and money she receives for walking dogs for people who work. She has standard low cost medical insurance that doesn't cover anything other than medically required closure procedures. Anything of a "reconstructive" nature beyond medically responsible "closure" is deemed to be cosmetic surgery and not covered under her plan. Cosmetic surgery is expensive as hell and far beyond Doris's means. Besides she's an advanced senior citizen, a maiden lady with no prospects of having to require rebuilt breasts as sensual enticements....(or as she likes to refer to herself, "an unclaimed blessing")...Don't get me wrong she is an absolutely lovely person and a wonderful friend whose faults, if you could call them that, are that she is too trusting of those who warrant no trust, generous beyond her means, of loving animals, especially cats.....she lives in a one room apartment with two absolutely worthless house cats that haven't been out of the apartment in over ten years...so damn overfed that they look like pregnant raccoons....She's a very sweet, kind, and deeply committed Christian and requires being taken care of. There is less than a remote possibility that Doris will end up in a dark corner of a local movie theater balcony getting her blouse unbuttoned and bra hooks undone by Prince Charming. Put your savings on that. So, cosmetic reconstruction really makes no sense. A foam rubber decoy...a look alike ta-ta...or even a Ziplock bag of Silly Putty will do Ok and stand no chance of visual discovery. And lastly, let me dispell any notion of my noble intent. We assign loftly notions to the things life requires of good men. In the world I grew up in, there were things required of lads who wanted to earn nothing more than the right to behave in such a way, that they could be known as good men. There were hard and fast requirements to qualify to earn the title "good man"...Good men served their country in uniform and did not seek financial inticement or reward other than the honor of wearing the same uniform found in wooden boxes resting in National Cemeteries...They abhored dishonesty, took another man's word and sealed deals with a handshake...They didn't walk away from a fight....win or lose, the honor was in standing up to bullies and bastards who desperately needed to have their butts kicked...They stopped to help people change flats, carried elderly ladies groceries to their cars, held their chairs at table and opened doors for them. I know that in this new modern woman world those things have become archaic and sexist. Anyone who believes that was not raised by Margaret Wilson Andrews Armstrong.....They were the obligations of manhood. Women brought gentle civility to the lives of men...provided new life...and were to be honored, protected and respected by men. A good man had no choice...he stood between the loveliness of womanhood and evil. I deeply love and respect my daughter but I never understood why she became a paratrooper and desired to serve in a direct combat support role. That has never diminished my respect and pride in her military accomplishments....but her service runs contrary to the ideals inculcated in me at my Mother's table. I'm old fashioned, whatever in the hell that is...according to both my daughters. So, you see, caring for our Doris is not some selfless noble gesture...it is a requirement and obligation of being the kind of man who can look in the mirror and respect the ugly looking bastard who stares back at him...that makes scraping off his whiskers a helluvalot easier. The nice thing about it, looking back...I rode a leaky wornout smokeboat with eighty sonuvabitches just like me. DEX |
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Old Salt
Posts: 402
| Subject: RE: For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
DEX, I know what you mean about being in the same hospital that your wife was in. The memories are impossible to forget. I worked as a security supervisor at a hospital in our area. A few years after leaving my dad developed fluid in the sack around the lungs. His hospital, of course was my old job site. My dad was able to discharge but passed away in the off-site facility just two days from his expected return home. A good friend of mine, (ex Navy draftsman from the late 50's), later was stricken with Leukemea and was admitted to the hospital were I had worked. Last November my mother fell in the hallway and broke her leg near her hip and yes it was back to the same hospital. Waiting in the waiting room for my mother brought back the memories of fear I had felt while waiting for my dad when he was receiving treatment. My mom has made a full recovery but her memory has left her. I am 53, (just turned), and have made the decision to stay at home with her to care for her. I was not ready to retire at this time so finances are tough but I figure I can start a small buisness to make ends meet. One good thing is during all this finacal crisis I'm in good shape. I have no personal debt other than a cell phone bill. It's not easy caring for someone but when I was a little baby and couldn't care for myself my parents sacrificed to get me started. I figure no matter what sacrifice I may need to make can re-pay them. You are right about serving your country, I tried but was denied due to an injury I had suffered but I see young strong guys complaining about not being able to find good full time work but offer poor excuses when you suggest that they join the military. I've known young guys that want to work in law enforcement, but wont listen when you explain they would get a foot up by serving in the Coast Guard. You hang in there Dex, you are a good man,
CORABELL, Concerning the nipple question......You know that man was created first so the nipple on the woman must have been a modification designed for the new model. Also can you picture a chest without one? That would just look wierd. I have had a small baby latch onto one of my fingers but never my chest, that would be a shocker!!
Take Care,
Steve |
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For Chief Andrews ( Monkeyfist)
