Great Sage of the Sea
Posts: 561
| Subject: Somali Cruise Package
For those old bubble heads who want to go to sea once more and submerge some pirates.
T.Spoon, DBF
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Somali Cruise Package
I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin
(in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The
cost is a bit high @ US $800 per person double occupancy but
I didn't find that offensive.
What I found enticing is that the cruise company is
encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons'
along on the cruise. If you don't have weapons you can rent
them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master
gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon.
The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum
of $3200 per person double occupancy (4 days).
All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia
waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the
costs and claims associated with the package.
$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing)
M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of
5.56 armor piercing ammo at 15.95
Ak-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com
block ball ammo at 14.95
Barrett M-107 50 cal sniper riffle rental 55.00/day ammo
at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at 9.95
Crew members can double as spotters for 30.00 per hour
(spotting scope included).
They even offer RPG's at 75 bucks and 200 dollars for
3 standard loads
"Everyone gets use of free complimentary night
vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from
7pm-6am."
Meals are not included but seem reasonable.
Most cruises offer a mini-bar... these gung ho
entrepreneurs offer......... get this.....
"MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @ 450.00 per 30 seconds
of sustained fire"
Sign my ares up!
They advertise group rates and corporate
discounts......and even claim "FUN FOR THE WHOLE
FAMILY"
They even offer a partial money back if not
satisfied....here's some text from the ad.
"We guarantee that you will experience at least two
hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund back half
your money including gun rental charges and any unused ammo
(mini gun charges not included).. How can we guarantee you
will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12
miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted Hijacking
does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at
4 knots. We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three
passes a day along the entire length of Somalia. At night
the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at
intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract
attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly.
Reserve your package before April 29 and get 100 rounds of
free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice."
As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite,
there were a few testimonials.
"I got three confirmed kills on my last trip.
I'LL never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like
the Komandant in Schindlers list!"---- Lars, Hamburg
Germany
"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I
bagged three pirates and my 12 yr old son sank two rowboats
with the minigun. PIRATES 0 -PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the
trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English"
----Ned, Salt Lake city, Utah USA
"I haven't had this much fun since flying
choppers in NAM. Don't worry about getting shot by
pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those
weapons they use and their s**tty aim--reminds me of a
drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the
motor pool back in Nam"
----"Chopper' Dan, Toledo USA.
"Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around
and we saw them bleed and cry in the water like little
girls. Saw one wounded pirate eaten by sharks--what a laugh
riot!! This is a must do.
---Zeke, Minnahaw Springs Kentucky USA
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1107
Location: Tucson AZ | Subject: I like it, TS!
Enough to forward it to some of my 'politically incorrect' friends and family.
The only sane course of action with those scourges of the seas is to annihilate them when encountered; make it so unattractive that they're afraid to even leave port. As Jefferson put it, "Millions for defense, not one cent for tribute."
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Somali Cruise Package
