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At random: USS SKATE and USS SEADRAGON, after affecting a historic rendezvous under the ice, surfaced together at the North Pole through an opening in the ice on August 1962. What really happened: We didn't surface together, Skate surfaced first. Then we (Seadragon) fired yellow flares forward and aft so Skate could tell us how we were lined up. Remember, under-ice was primitive in these days. Skate called back down rapidly that one flare surfaced on her starboard side and the other to port. She requested we reposition before vertical surfacing. We did. - Coyote (Owen Carlson)

..and these people are walking around unescorted..... Moderators: Jump to page : 1 Now viewing page 1 [25 messages per page]
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Ric

Posted 2009-04-29 5:44 PM (#26164)

Plankowner

Posts: 9165

Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map.

Subject: ..and these people are walking around unescorted.....

Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"

Doc Gardner

Posted 2009-04-29 5:57 PM (#26165 - in reply to #26164)

Master and Commander

Posts: 2254

Location: Foothills of the Ozarks

Subject: RE: some guy wrote to Harley Davidson forum today

asking if he could get Swine Flu from riding his Hog.

Ralph Luther

Posted 2009-04-29 7:04 PM (#26166 - in reply to #26165)

COMSUBBBS

Posts: 6180

Location: Summerville, SC

Subject: RE: some guy wrote to Harley Davidson forum today

Better be careful, Doc, they're out there.

Blue from West Oz

Posted 2009-04-30 3:53 AM (#26173 - in reply to #26166)

Master and Commander

Posts: 2357

Subject: Truth be known...

...it was Doc himself that wrote in....actually, it was his lovely wife that wrote in for him as the good Dr is incapable of such things!

...and don't get me started on you either Ralph!

Blue *_*

Doc Gardner

Posted 2009-04-30 4:10 AM (#26174 - in reply to #26173)

Master and Commander

Posts: 2254

Location: Foothills of the Ozarks

Subject: RE: You promised

not to rat me out; do the cons call you guys "screws" in Oz?
She told me I could have a Harley when pigs fly and I told her that in Mexico Swine Flu so does that count?

Blue from West Oz

Posted 2009-04-30 5:14 AM (#26175 - in reply to #26174)

Master and Commander

Posts: 2357

Subject: RE: You promised

Doc Gardner - 2009-04-30 6:10 PM

not to rat me out; do the cons call you guys "screws" in Oz?
She told me I could have a Harley when pigs fly and I told her that in Mexico Swine Flu so does that count?

Yeah that is what they call us...along with a few expletives added. lol

Pat's answer no doubt was..."another out of work comedian and I married him"

B;ue *_*

Ralph Luther

Posted 2009-04-30 5:25 AM (#26176 - in reply to #26173)

COMSUBBBS

Posts: 6180

Location: Summerville, SC

Subject: RE: Truth be known...

Get started on me????

Why, what ever for?? I'm innocent I tell ya.

Then again................
Ya gotta watch that Quack Gardner ! Dave Stoops told me that he and Beeghly........... no, I had best not say. I told Dave that no matter what.....

Doc Gardner

Posted 2009-04-30 9:22 AM (#26185 - in reply to #26176)

Master and Commander

Posts: 2254

Location: Foothills of the Ozarks

Subject: RE: Truth be known...

Ralph Luther - 2009-04-30 8:25 AM

Get started on me????

Why, what ever for?? I'm innocent I tell ya.

Then again................
Ya gotta watch that Quack Gardner ! Dave Stoops told me that he and Beeghly........... no, I had best not say. I told Dave that no matter what.....

Ralph:
There is a major difference between "innocent" and "not guilty" I'll let Blue explain that to you; he speaks pidgen carolina

Ralph Luther

Posted 2009-04-30 10:41 AM (#26188 - in reply to #26185)

COMSUBBBS

Posts: 6180

Location: Summerville, SC

Subject: RE: Truth be known...

That... will be interesting to hear especially from him.

Flapper

Posted 2009-05-01 12:31 AM (#26213 - in reply to #26174)

Master and Commander

Posts: 1107

Location: Tucson AZ

Subject: RE: You promised

Doc Gardner - 2009-04-30 5:10 AMnot to rat me out; do the cons call you guys "screws" in Oz?She told me I could have a Harley when pigs fly and I told her that in Mexico Swine Flu so does that count?

Gro-o-o-oan!

Donald L. Johnson

Posted 2009-05-01 12:10 PM (#26221 - in reply to #26176)

Great Sage of the Sea

Posts: 602

Location: Visalia, Ca.

Subject: RE: Truth be known...

Ralph Luther - 2009-04-30 3:25 AM

Get started on me????

Why, what ever for?? I'm innocent I tell ya.

Then again................

Shipmate, as a qualified submariner, you ain't been innocent for a loooooooong time.

Ralph Luther

Posted 2009-05-01 6:06 PM (#26232 - in reply to #26221)

COMSUBBBS

Posts: 6180

Location: Summerville, SC

Subject: RE: Truth be known...

I know you right, Big Bubba. Ain't we got fun?

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