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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Folks, we're not talking about a delicate, demure, dainty little number, who comes in mary janes, lacey unmentionables and and a school marms white blouse and cameo. We're talking about a gal who could win a rodeo and bullwhip one of those twenty mule team Borax wagons...A lady who moves at just below the speed of light and can light up a party like a five inch star-shell. She comes packaged with a sense of humor that could turn a convent inside out. She holds some pretty impressive credentials, like a master's degree from Forty School Street...and submariner's girl certification papers signed by John Wynn. She dropped at least five snapping turtles in Ray Stones shorts and set fire to mine with a stage six nepalm drop. Her husband is a lucky man...and knows it. There are a lot of wimminz out there whose presence can throw a wet blanket on an out of control gathering of boat sailors....The Duchess of Lumpy Bumps' presence is like starting a Weber charcoal grill with Aviation Fuel....or some big ape from the Mafia pulling out a giant loaded handgun and yelling "OK Everybody let's dance." You have to shoot her five times with one of those Rhinoscerous tranquillizer rifles to get her to go home. She's more fun than twenty monkeys with railroad flares and she's damn easy on the eyes. But what's even better she's Submarines All the Way...and they don't come any better than that. DEX |
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Plankowner
Posts: 9165
Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map. | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
So....., she was sneaking over to your place after we dropped her off at her hotel every night? |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Ric, You keep talking like that and the Duke of Lumpy Bumps will be putting on his OJ gloves and come crawling through my bedroom window about two AM with a loaded large caliber handgun. Duchess, tell your husband that Ric Hedman smokes very powerful dried Columbian vegetation and takes the LaLa land express before sditting down at his cyber word shootrer keyboard. DEX |
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Plankowner
Posts: 9165
Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map. | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
...you have a line on where to get some? Been a long time.............. I just spoke with the Duke about an hour ago...... |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2540
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
...and he just read the posts...Thank you, Dex. Now, as for "the other slut" from the West Coast...we will let your previous comment "slide"...because you spoke to the Duke prior to this post...but right now, I can't tell if he's "all pumped" because of the post or he's about to blow...but there is this "silly grin" on his face...
Edited by miss lumpy bumps 2009-05-18 4:10 PM
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1262
Location: Va.Beach,Va. | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Dex,The "Duchess of Lumpy Bumps"has been promoted to the
"Queen of the Swine".(and I mean that in a good way).
We love ya Patti!  |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Patti, Please keep me out of your husband's dog house....Somehow, between all these posts I seem to have ended up on the New London Septic Tank Swim Team...and I never attended the tryouts. Luv'ya DEX.....PS. Who in the hell is the West Coast Slut and how do you get a date with her? Does she come with large lumps and loose bloomer elastic? DEX |
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Plankowner
Posts: 9165
Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map. | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
..oh gads!!! ... I can't stop the tears......... |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2540
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Just "ask" the previous poster...WHO STATES "HE CAN'T STOP THE TEARS" who the "other West Coast slut is...I am sure that Stoops could tell you...and Don!!!
You are NO WAY in the DOGHOUSE...and as big as my "Duke" is...he would have to get through me to get to anyone else...he keeps telling me to "pack a lunch"...and I keep asking him "what" he would like in HIS LUNCHBOX...No, Dex...you are NOT in the the doghouse...
he had this really "silly grin" on his face the whole time he was reading the post...so, what does that tell you.
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1107
Location: Tucson AZ | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
dex armstrong - 2009-05-18 6:03 PMPatti, Please keep me out of your husband's dog house....Somehow, between all these posts I seem to have ended up on the New London Septic Tank Swim Team...and I never attended the tryouts. Luv'ya DEX.....PS. Who in the hell is the West Coast Slut and how do you get a date with her? Does she come with large lumps and loose bloomer elastic? DEX
'She' does come dressed in a grass skirt and coconut shell bra, Dex old buddy. You'd lust after 'her' at first sight.
</sarc>
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1405
Location: Houston, TX (Best state in the US) | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Ric - 2009-05-18 5:10 PM
..oh gads!!! ... I can't stop the tears.........
Yeah...well you better buy some vaseline....sounds like you could be raped here soon by someone who thinks the west coast slut is a hottie! |
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Plankowner
Posts: 9165
Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map. | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
,,,still laughing............................ |
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1405
Location: Houston, TX (Best state in the US) | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Ric - 2009-05-18 6:26 PM
,,,still laughing............................
Quick...break your mirror! |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2540
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Dave, I think he got a hold of some of that nasty Colombian "wacky weed"...
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1405
Location: Houston, TX (Best state in the US) | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
miss lumpy bumps - 2009-05-18 6:43 PM
Dave, I think he got a hold of some of that nasty Colombian "wacky weed"...
Heck, Seattle Sue has a basement full of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The slut! |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2540
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Well, considering "his basement" is all dirt (I think)... |
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1405
Location: Houston, TX (Best state in the US) | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
good thing he has a basement and not a second story...his elevator couldn't make it! hee hee hee...............
So he's got a dirt floor in his basement, full of the good Columbian stuff? He's in Seattle, so I don't imagine his water table is very deep...can't have too much buried there..............
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2540
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
This is the "alibi" he gave me this afternoon...AND...maybe a few bodies buried...relics from Mezozic era??? (GRIN)
Edited by miss lumpy bumps 2009-05-18 7:24 PM
 (Looking for Things.JPG)
Attachments
----------------
 Looking for Things.JPG (38KB - 498 downloads)
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Plankowner
Posts: 9165
Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map. | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Stoops - 2009-05-18 6:58 PM
So he's got a dirt floor in his basement, full of the good Columbian stuff? He's in Seattle, so I don't imagine his water table is very deep...can't have too much buried there..............
There is NO basement or second floor.... I live in a mobile home!!! ...and that isn't even true now since there aren't any wheels either!!!! |
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1405
Location: Houston, TX (Best state in the US) | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Ric - 2009-05-18 7:26 PM
Stoops - 2009-05-18 6:58 PM
So he's got a dirt floor in his basement, full of the good Columbian stuff? He's in Seattle, so I don't imagine his water table is very deep...can't have too much buried there..............
There is NO basement or second floor.... I live in a mobile home!!! ...and that isn't even true now since there aren't any wheels either!!!!
An euphanism for sure....but you are already saddled with your slut status, so I'll not comment further, you infected hussy!
Edited by Stoops 2009-05-18 7:45 PM
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Plankowner
Posts: 9165
Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map. | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
takes one to know one.........bitch |
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Senior Crew
Posts: 184
Location: ConroeTexas | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Awwwww you guyls just blew my opinion of Ms lumpy bumps, I thought of her as the mother Teresa type where you could always go to with your problems and she would always give you a shoulder to cry on, and when you finished all your pain was gone and you would come away smiling,-------Say that sounds pretty good, I think I'll just go on and think of her in that lite.
The beagle doc |
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Plankowner
Posts: 9165
Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map. | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Keep thinking about the pain, Doc...... |
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Great Sage of the Sea
Posts: 892
Location: Palo Pinto County, Texas | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Well, beagle Doc, having been amongst the Swine of the Highest Order on that Saint Patrick's Day of remembrance, I'll concede that some truths have been revealed within that pile of BS posted above. However, this is still a relatively clean "family board" so I'll not reveal what might be deemed as inappropriate information about one submariner's wife.
To say the least, it was an experience to be long remembered! As your personal experience confirms, 'old dogs can learn new tricks' ~ ~ ~
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Plankowner
Posts: 9165
Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map. | Subject: RE: Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
Have you considered politics as a second profession? I think I needed hip boots to just get through that............ |
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Straight dope on the Duchess of Lumpy Bumps
