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At random: "... The Navy's best are found upon; The pigboats black and trim; For men must be of sturdy stuff; To sink and still to swim ..." part of a poem, author unknown

Blue, My bride loved the rascal Moderators: Jump to page : 1 Now viewing page 1 [25 messages per page]
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dex armstrong

Posted 2009-07-22 6:07 AM (#28824)

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Posts: 3202

Location: Alexandria, Virginia

Subject: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

If I heard,"Why can't you try to be a lot more like Blue?" once, I heard it a million times. To her he was the consumate houseguest....She used to say,"He really complimented my cooking....Loved everything I made." Those of us who know the rascal, know that he would eat five day old kangaroo road kill....I once saw a TV program that described a great white shark as "the perfectly designed eating machine". Somewhere in Blue's genetic make up there has to be a truck load of great white genes. For someone as trim as Blue, the man eats like one of those Biblical plagues....like the decent of twenty zillion locusts. You could feed Blue raw meat on the end of a pointed stick and he'd jump on it like a half starved lion. There are folks here still paying off emergency home loans, they had to take out to feed Blue...Hell, he joined the Aussie Navy because his mother broke his plate and threw him out the door.....You talk about poor bastards who go broke feeding Great Dane dogs....Blue's like having a pet rhinoscerous. Feeding him is like shoveling coal into the fire box on one of the Queen Mary's boilers....He pulled a vacuum on two local grocery stores....and we couldn't locate two of the neighborhood dogs when he left (Once he asked for a toothpick to get the remnants of a flea and tick collar out of his teeth.) With his level of chow consumption the man should be the size of a Clydesdale horse....He must have the metabolism of a dinosaur and gastric juices that would disolve a tank turret. On Blues visit to the U.S. all of our agricultural market indicators go through the roof.....It's like Ethiopia relocated. Great guy with a world class appitite. If packing away chow ever becomes an Olympic event, Australia has the gold medal locked up...But you can't help liking the guy....he arrives, charms the bloomers off your bride....eats you out of house and home and makes his own bed....and you hear about how nice and polite he is and what a terriffic guest he is for the next two years....Secret, You can feed the rapscallion shredded newspaper and crab grass and he'll love it...the man has no tastebuds and a digestive system that can digest a cinderblock. DEX

Tom McNulty

Posted 2009-07-22 10:12 AM (#28828 - in reply to #28824)

Master and Commander

Posts: 1454

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

So, are you saying he's not the reincarnation of Eddy Haskell?

RCK

Posted 2009-07-22 10:20 AM (#28829 - in reply to #28828)

Master and Commander

Posts: 1431

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

From what I have heard about the legendary eating ability of Blue, he could devour a 2 by 4 with knots in it, declare it delicious, and could he have some more!! A colony of termites could stand in awe of his abilities!!

Ralph Luther

Posted 2009-07-22 11:14 AM (#28830 - in reply to #28829)

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Posts: 6180

Location: Summerville, SC

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

Let me tell you a little bit about Blue, who my wife thinks of as a Choirboy. Just wait until he turns the age corner of 50 years. When that rascal turns fifty he is going to balloon out like a Blow Fish.
My wife is a really good cook. I can attest to that with my weight of 252#. When Blue was visiting us, my wife cooked up a meal for us that was fit for a King. When the meal was over we could just put Blue's dinner plate back into the cupboard. He licked it so clean, we didn't even have to wash it. Why I had to tell him, " hold on Blue! Those flowers are are baked into the plate for decoration".
My wife, Granddaughter and I visited Blue 3 years ago at his home near Perth. The Choirboy is a very gracious host and his home is a real nice bachelor pad. He cooks up a good meal too, although POD told us we were treading on dangerous grounds by consuming Blue's cooking. He did an outstanding job. Only thing is, ya gotta eat fast and guard against his fork making a quick stab at your plate.

dex armstrong

Posted 2009-07-22 11:16 AM (#28831 - in reply to #28824)

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Posts: 3202

Location: Alexandria, Virginia

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

Blue is an Australian legend....When Blue's hungry Australian mothers don't let their kids play outside and bring in their pets....The man has an international reputation. The canibals in the FiJi Islands run and hide when he flies over in a plane....When he visited the United States he asked if they had emptied Jeffery Dahmers freezer and if Jeffery had any ear snacks. I don't know if their is any truth in it, but someone told me he once ate an Australian guyana (damn big lizard, I once saw in a Crocadile Dundee movie...really ugly looking sonuvabitch.) Blue ate one raw, just grabbed it by the tail and swallowed the damn thing head first....The man operates like one of those garbage compacter trucks, no matter how much chow he packs away, there is always room for more. Doc swears Blue swallowed his cat and several "not so large" pieces of furniture....an oil painting of Prince Phillip....and three bushels of crab apples. But man do American gals go for him. DEX

Blue from West Oz

Posted 2009-07-22 2:50 PM (#28839 - in reply to #28824)

Master and Commander

Posts: 2357

Subject: What's not to love?....

....and how come it is only American 'Gals' that love me and not Aussie chics?....I just got to be doing something wrong!

Well Dex, thanks for the kind words and the humerous one's as well.......it has brightened me up a tad which I certainly need at the moment.

I think part of the problem back in '04, hmmmmm...and '07 and '08 was that all the American's I met took pity on me for being Trim, Taught and Terrific and decided I needed fattening up to look like a 'local' so they all piled food onto my plate. I was always taught that you have to eat what is on your plate, and so began 'Blue's Battle of the Bulge'!

I am glad Solveig got stuck into you after I left, I noticed you left some crumbs on your plate once.....totally unacceptable!

Cheers

Blue *_*

Blue from West Oz

Posted 2009-07-22 2:52 PM (#28840 - in reply to #28830)

Master and Commander

Posts: 2357

Subject: 252 #.....

Ralph Luther - 2009-07-23 1:14 AM

My wife is a really good cook. I can attest to that with my weight of 252#. When Blue was visiting us, my wife cooked up a meal for us that was fit for a King. When the meal was over we could just put Blue's dinner plate back into the cupboard. He licked it so clean, we didn't even have to wash it. Why I had to tell him, " hold on Blue! Those flowers are are baked into the plate for decoration".

.....and the rest Buddy, more like 292#

Now I know Master Shane and Princess Sierra wouldn't say nasty things like that about me.....I am going to tell Sierra all about it on Facebook....then you will be in trouble, BIG TIME!

Blue *_*

PaulR

Posted 2009-07-22 3:00 PM (#28841 - in reply to #28831)

Master and Commander

Posts: 1269

Location: Hopewell Junction NY

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

dex armstrong - 2009-07-22 2:16 PMBlue is an Australian legend....When Blue's hungry Australian mothers don't let their kids play outside and <B>bring in their pets....</b>

as well as their food bowls, from what I hear.

Ric

Posted 2009-07-22 3:20 PM (#28842 - in reply to #28831)

Plankowner

Posts: 9165

Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map.

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

Yeah, but give a few beers.... Don't be around him the next morning.....

Ric

Posted 2009-07-22 3:23 PM (#28843 - in reply to #28839)

Plankowner

Posts: 9165

Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map.

Subject: RE: What's not to love?....

....I just got to be doing something wrong!

Or the Ozzie chicks are doing it wrong......

Ralph Luther

Posted 2009-07-22 3:39 PM (#28844 - in reply to #28839)

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Posts: 6180

Location: Summerville, SC

Subject: RE: What's not to love?....

Hey Mate, the word is out over there in Oz about your eating habits and the young and not so young shielas are scared. Won't be long and word will spread here especially when pictures circulate showing you shoving Daniel out of the way to get to his plate at John Bay's. I guess the part of eating what is placed before you means the serving dishes too.

Maybe, if you let your hair grow out it might be like a disguise and the shielas won't recognize the BloooDog. Oh hell, maybe you don't have hair to grow out anymore

JohnBay

Posted 2009-07-22 6:02 PM (#28850 - in reply to #28844)

Great Sage of the Sea

Posts: 560

Location: Minot, Maine

Subject: Daniel starves!

Look at the poor guy! Blue ate his lobster, used his pizza as an edible napkin, then devoured a 15 pounder! Here's the proof! Picture taken after the fact....

(L1000485 (Small).JPG)

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L1000485 (Small).JPG (51KB - 455 downloads)

dex armstrong

Posted 2009-07-23 9:22 PM (#28917 - in reply to #28824)

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Posts: 3202

Location: Alexandria, Virginia

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

Looking at that picture, I realized that the young lad in the photo was extremely lucky...In Arlington Blue ate a leg off a five year old....chewed a large chunk out of a German Shepherd....and swallowed four cats and an extremely large rhodent (ate them so fast we couldn't identify the damn thing... either possum, muskrat or swamp rat.)....He required a manhole cover sized plate and a snow shovel to convey steam shovel size loads to his mouth. American farm animals had a celebratory festival when he got on a plane to Down Under....One ape out at the zoo yelled....somebody e-mail the quallah* bears that Blues coming home. (* How do you spell that?)....When American Submariners get together sharing Blue Eating Stories is usually the highpoint of the gathering...He has become part of American folklore, Like Paul Bunyan, John Henry and Mike Fink....One story has him eating all the American buffalo and another one making a fish sandwich outta Moby Dick. DEX

Blue from West Oz

Posted 2009-07-23 10:10 PM (#28919 - in reply to #28917)

Master and Commander

Posts: 2357

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

...not sure what part of all that is true, but it is Koala Bear.

Of course the Koala Bear is not a bear at all, it is in fact a Marsupial.

So when is a bear not a bear? when it is a Koala!

Blue *_*

Doc Gardner

Posted 2009-07-24 4:00 AM (#28926 - in reply to #28917)

Master and Commander

Posts: 2253

Location: Foothills of the Ozarks

Subject: He got us tossed out of Canada, too

When he visited us we took him to Canada and after clearing out everything the pub had in their freezer and draining the Guinness keg we were sent packing back to Michigan. The Custom's Agents asked Blue if he had anything to declare and replied in that strange dialect he uses, "you have fine women and great food in this country" then fell back asleep.
TINS

Jim M.

Posted 2009-07-24 4:53 AM (#28927 - in reply to #28824)

Great Sage of the Sea

Posts: 877

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

The pic shows what happened after the Middletown Tavern in Annapolis dared to cut Blue off after he ate three tables, a wall, and tried to eat the Duchess of Durban's meal....

(annap_after.jpg)

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annap_after.jpg (14KB - 480 downloads)

dex armstrong

Posted 2009-07-24 4:59 AM (#28928 - in reply to #28824)

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Posts: 3202

Location: Alexandria, Virginia

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

I was present at the Middletown Tavern with Jim and Blue and an unruly crowd....Blue's son was also there and watched his dad eat two tons of food and finish off by eating two fishing boats and a Volkswagen. DEX

Runner485

Posted 2009-07-24 5:58 AM (#28931 - in reply to #28927)

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Posts: 2672

Location: New Jersey

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

In the Tavern's 200 year history, it has never been closed due to a lack of food...until Blue's visit. It took 3 days to replenish enough supplies to sell grilled cheese sammitchis.

Ralph Luther

Posted 2009-07-24 6:45 AM (#28933 - in reply to #28931)

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Posts: 6180

Location: Summerville, SC

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

Joe, you are 100% correct on that. I sat across the table from Blue that evening and his son, Daniel, sat next to me. Why, I had to defend the poor lad from Blue forking across the table to get his vittles. Even had to use my butter knife like a sword to keep Blue out of my plate. That Choirboy must have some Great White Shark genes for sure.

dex armstrong

Posted 2009-07-24 7:02 AM (#28935 - in reply to #28824)

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Posts: 3202

Location: Alexandria, Virginia

Subject: RE: Blue, My bride loved the rascal

While he was here he emptied the shelves in two major supermarkets and Bill Kreher had to take out a major home loan to feed him....There was a reported major spree in missing pet reports and a documentary on the history channel asked the question..."Where in the hell was Blue when Amelia Erhart disappeared?" You never know...DEX

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