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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2561
Location: Rapid City, SD | Subject: The Ship Sank
He was the lone survivor.
He swam towards a distant beach.
When he arrived there, he crawled up on the shore to rest and count his blessings.
That's when he saw the first one.......,
a large pecan pie, still hot from the oven.
He then saw a banana split, a large bowl of vanilla pudding,
a bag of chocolate chip cookies with a glass of chilled milk,
4 large caramel apples, a large box of chocolate chips,
a huge bowl of chocolate ice cream and
a three layer yellow lemon frosted cake.
Suddenly! Like a flash of lightning, he realized............
He was on a desserted island!
Well...I thought it was funny. And there was a ship, so that makes it at least Navy oriented. (No, I didn't make this up. It was sent to me.)
Cora  
Edited by Corabelle 2009-09-16 10:34 PM
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 2540
Location: Wappingers Falls, NY | Subject: RE: The Ship Sank
I thought it was very cute, Cora.
BTW, did you get my note back to your note.
(sorry guys, this is the only way I have of communicating with her at the moment...and it is sub related...has to do with Elmer's uniform and the mannequin). |
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Great Sage of the Sea
Posts: 602
Location: Visalia, Ca. | Subject: RE: The Ship Sank
GROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAN!
Very punny, Cora, very punny.
Good thing I didn't have any food in my mouth when I read that punchline. |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 6180
Location: Summerville, SC | Subject: RE: The Ship Sank
I know you didn't get that one from Dex. |
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Plankowner
Posts: 9165
Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map. | Subject: RE: The Ship Sank
...probably from cartoonist Gary Larson |
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Plankowner
Posts: 9165
Location: Upper lefthand corner of the map. | Subject: More bad jokes
Comprehending Engineers - Take One: Two engineering students were walking
across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The
second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own
business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to
the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." "The
second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn't have fit."
Comprehending Engineers - Take Two: To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To a pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice
as big as it needs to be.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Three: A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were
waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer
fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!
"The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him." [dramatic pause] "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes,
that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free
anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so
sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said,
"Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if
there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these
guys play at night?"
Comprehending Engineers-Take Four: There was an engineer who had an
exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company
loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the
company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were
having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried
everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In
desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of
their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He
spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a
small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated,
"This is where your problem is". The part was replaced and the machine
worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the
engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his
charges. The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark, $1. Knowing where
to put it, $49,999. It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in
peace.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Five: What is the difference between
Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Six: Three engineering students were gathered
together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It
was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No,
it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of
electrical connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven: "Normal people ... believe that if it
ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it
doesn't have enough features yet.
Comprehending Engineers-Take Eight: An architect, an artist and an engineer
were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a
mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time
with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The
engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife
and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other
woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
Comprehending Engineers - Take Nine: An engineer was crossing a road one day
when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a
beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his
pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer
took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the
frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog
asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that
I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss
me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
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Master and Commander
Posts: 1405
Location: Houston, TX (Best state in the US) | Subject: Engineers....
You are getting close, Ric.
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Great Sage of the Sea
Posts: 781
Location: Port Orchard WA | Subject: RE: The Ship Sank
from a friend of mine Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?
Wonder no more!!! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried. The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing: "Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Then they kick him in the ice hole." You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you? |
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COMSUBBBS
Posts: 3202
Location: Alexandria, Virginia | Subject: Corabelle, You made coffee run out my nose
I was reading that thing thinking you'ed jumped the trolley track....then I hit the kicker line and filled my sinus cavities with Maxwell House....YOU GOT ME...goat roped me, I never saw it coming...hot pie? floating ashore from a sunken ship? But like a complete idiot I went on, figuring at the end you would provide a logical explanation....Like Brer Rabbit getting caught up in one of Brer Foxes snares, I find myself swinging in a tree caught up in a Corabelle snare....with coffee running out my nose. DEX
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The Ship Sank
